Me....and my "dark time"
I haven't been here in a short little while. I think that it is directly linked to the fact that I'm extremely depressed. No, seriously. I am. Me, the girl that could never have a bad day, whose mood was never dampened by anything. I'm depressed. I'm talking 1.Not getting out of be. 2.NOt going to the gym. 3.Not eating or eating everything in sight 4.Yelling at everyone around me 5.Crying a lot. It sucks. YOu'll be happy to know that it took me a while to figure it out that I was depressed. lol, right.
Now, because I have figured this out, I'm going to fix it. Everyone keeps telling me to go see a doctor. I don't need a doctor. I don't need happy pills. What I need is for my classes to quit overloading me. And here we have reached the cause of my "dark time" because I refuse to call this depression.
The Cause:
1. My OLS class is a study on the way that groups work together and within themselves to solve problems and have experiences. This is great. We have 3 workaholics (Roger, Liz, Myself) 1 social loafer (Nick) and 1 guy that folls somewhere in the middle (Ryan). Liz, Roger, and I have done a good job, so far, of balancing the slack from the other two and picking it up. However, this does create a shit load of extra work when you have a project, presentation, or paper due every week. Obviously this is slightly stressful for me.
2. My systems class. This class has actually gotten much better lately. We have a 15 page paper due in a week. Dana, Nicole, and I have this done. We finished it Thursday and are now planning our presentation for Tuesday of next week. Ahhhh, not nearly as stressful as it was.
3. Marketing. GODDAMNMOTHERFUCKINGPIECEOFSHIT!!!!!%%$^&*#$%^&^$#(#&(^#(#^. So I'm not very happy with my group at this point and time. Our paper is due Thursday. We were each supposed to bring in three pages, typed, on our sections. Sidenote: this is a 10-15 page paper on the marketing strategy of our chosen company: East of Chicago Pizza Company. Back to the story: Jami, who lives on campus, has been having computer problems and her pc finally died. So she turned in a hand written one page blirb copied from the research THAT I DID FOR HER. Because she couldn't make the ten minute walk to campus and use a computer lab. huh. But she isn't the Real problem. Sabra, the spawn of satan brought to life to make my life a living hell. She's my problem. She brought in one page typed. COPIED and PASTED FROM THE PROPOSAL THAT I WROTE, which btw is at the beginning of the paper. She refused to send me her work on the basis that her mother is an English teacher and would proofread our paper for us. Which, granted would be nice. so Friday, I sat in my room and researched/wrote a seven page paper that would earn me an A- or B+. I wasn't satisfied with it, but there were still 3 more pages to be added. That alone should have brought it up to an A paper.
Monday this....thing??? for lack of a better work is emailed back to me. I would give a fifth grader a D on this piece of SHIT. So I spent six hours of my night editing, fixing, and writing/rewriting what she should have done in the first place. She even lied and told me the paper was 11 pages. Not even close, try 9. There was not subject/verb agreement. The tense changed between singular and plural AND past and present. She used abreviations like EOC for East of Chicago, Papa's for Papa Johns, and the Hut for Pizza Hut.
I'm still just a little pissed. In fact, I'm going to walk into class and punch her in the face. Then, I'm going to go to jail for assult and battery, where I will get off because I'm terminally insane. My mom thinks it's a good plan. My OLS class is selling tickets for the show. Dana and Nicole told me to hit her for them too.
And I still have two more classes to go!
But anyway basically I've spent the last two weeks doing nothing but homework, going to class, and working. I'm an extroverted introvert. I need to be around people at least once a week or I go a little nutty. This is why I'm depressed. Aren't you glad that I told you?
Okay, enough of that....time for the insight of the day:
Depression (wonder of all wonders, right?)
I can't feel sorry for people that are depressed. Depression is the results of our own actions. I do realize that there are people with chemical imbalances that lead them towards depression, however it is correctable. Mind over Matter. You don't mind, it doesn't matter. I also think that the world would be a happier place if we had a nap time after lunch every day, but hey I'm still working on it. So, I've decided not to be depressed anymore. It's hard with this weather, but I'm working on it. Wish me luck....
oooooo, revelation. Nick's paper about depression and sexuality or whatever it was. I could just be depressed because I haven't gotten laid since September, however that's my own fault because I'm the one that said no to John, Mat, and Doug. I just can't sleep with one of my good guy friends. It'd make everything weird.
I prefer to think that all of this is linked to my inactive social life, though!
Later,
Sizara (thanks Nickity)
Now, because I have figured this out, I'm going to fix it. Everyone keeps telling me to go see a doctor. I don't need a doctor. I don't need happy pills. What I need is for my classes to quit overloading me. And here we have reached the cause of my "dark time" because I refuse to call this depression.
The Cause:
1. My OLS class is a study on the way that groups work together and within themselves to solve problems and have experiences. This is great. We have 3 workaholics (Roger, Liz, Myself) 1 social loafer (Nick) and 1 guy that folls somewhere in the middle (Ryan). Liz, Roger, and I have done a good job, so far, of balancing the slack from the other two and picking it up. However, this does create a shit load of extra work when you have a project, presentation, or paper due every week. Obviously this is slightly stressful for me.
2. My systems class. This class has actually gotten much better lately. We have a 15 page paper due in a week. Dana, Nicole, and I have this done. We finished it Thursday and are now planning our presentation for Tuesday of next week. Ahhhh, not nearly as stressful as it was.
3. Marketing. GODDAMNMOTHERFUCKINGPIECEOFSHIT!!!!!%%$^&*#$%^&^$#(#&(^#(#^. So I'm not very happy with my group at this point and time. Our paper is due Thursday. We were each supposed to bring in three pages, typed, on our sections. Sidenote: this is a 10-15 page paper on the marketing strategy of our chosen company: East of Chicago Pizza Company. Back to the story: Jami, who lives on campus, has been having computer problems and her pc finally died. So she turned in a hand written one page blirb copied from the research THAT I DID FOR HER. Because she couldn't make the ten minute walk to campus and use a computer lab. huh. But she isn't the Real problem. Sabra, the spawn of satan brought to life to make my life a living hell. She's my problem. She brought in one page typed. COPIED and PASTED FROM THE PROPOSAL THAT I WROTE, which btw is at the beginning of the paper. She refused to send me her work on the basis that her mother is an English teacher and would proofread our paper for us. Which, granted would be nice. so Friday, I sat in my room and researched/wrote a seven page paper that would earn me an A- or B+. I wasn't satisfied with it, but there were still 3 more pages to be added. That alone should have brought it up to an A paper.
Monday this....thing??? for lack of a better work is emailed back to me. I would give a fifth grader a D on this piece of SHIT. So I spent six hours of my night editing, fixing, and writing/rewriting what she should have done in the first place. She even lied and told me the paper was 11 pages. Not even close, try 9. There was not subject/verb agreement. The tense changed between singular and plural AND past and present. She used abreviations like EOC for East of Chicago, Papa's for Papa Johns, and the Hut for Pizza Hut.
I'm still just a little pissed. In fact, I'm going to walk into class and punch her in the face. Then, I'm going to go to jail for assult and battery, where I will get off because I'm terminally insane. My mom thinks it's a good plan. My OLS class is selling tickets for the show. Dana and Nicole told me to hit her for them too.
And I still have two more classes to go!
But anyway basically I've spent the last two weeks doing nothing but homework, going to class, and working. I'm an extroverted introvert. I need to be around people at least once a week or I go a little nutty. This is why I'm depressed. Aren't you glad that I told you?
Okay, enough of that....time for the insight of the day:
Depression (wonder of all wonders, right?)
I can't feel sorry for people that are depressed. Depression is the results of our own actions. I do realize that there are people with chemical imbalances that lead them towards depression, however it is correctable. Mind over Matter. You don't mind, it doesn't matter. I also think that the world would be a happier place if we had a nap time after lunch every day, but hey I'm still working on it. So, I've decided not to be depressed anymore. It's hard with this weather, but I'm working on it. Wish me luck....
oooooo, revelation. Nick's paper about depression and sexuality or whatever it was. I could just be depressed because I haven't gotten laid since September, however that's my own fault because I'm the one that said no to John, Mat, and Doug. I just can't sleep with one of my good guy friends. It'd make everything weird.
I prefer to think that all of this is linked to my inactive social life, though!
Later,
Sizara (thanks Nickity)
posted by Sara Beth @ 12:25:00 PM
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