Growing Pains

I reaaly don't know what there is to say. Maybe I'll come up with stuff.....

Tuesday was really disappointing. I can't hate someone for doing something that I've done. But that didn't make me feel any less (fill in appropriate verb): upset /disillusioned /angry /hurt/ betrayed/ used. Currently, I don't really feel much of anything. I'm too tired. I also had food poisoning on Tuesday. Haven't really been eating for two days. Not sure if it's emotional or physical....

Yesterday was hard. I haven't really slept since Satruday and I couldn't sleep because I wasn't done packing yet. I don't know. There were a lot of other reasons too. The new apartment kicks ass. I have the biggest room on the planet. It's kind of like having my own studio apartment. I have a "living room", "bed room", "MINIBAR area", and an office....in one room. And yes, I did it that way on purpose. Basically I don't ever have to leave my room, unless I want to cook in the kitchen. But I also have a fridge in my room, and an attached bathroom. I like that I could live strictly in my room if need be, but I don't like that it looks like I'm going to have to for my sanity. AGD is being stupidly childish and immature. And a bitch to top it off. Hopefully that ends after her father, who is also staying with "us" right now, leaves this weekend.

Lately I'm not sure if I'm the one who's changed or if it's the people around me. AGD seems a lot different. Like she's digressed in being grown up. KJS and I are going to whip her into shape if this keeps up though.

The other person that has really changed I didn't see coming. But yet, I guess I never really knew you that well did I? When I met you, you were this completely amazing person. You were full of life and dreams and changing things for the better. Now, I see you and I'm not sure why you've become who you are. Did my guyfriends really influence this? I hate the reason that you all see each other. I look at what some of my best friends have become and I'm discusted. What happened to you? By what right would you think that I've sunk down to your morals? I want to beat you all until you're the individuals that I knew and loved. But I don't think that it would do any good. I used to be proud of you guys, any more I'm truely saddened.

I guess this is what they call growing up.

Thanks to Rabbi, Bob, and Nicky for listening to me and trying to help me make sense of this mess. I love you guys. A million bonus points to you all....