Do you see me or who I want you to see?

I didn't get to be drunk last night. *Pout* Which was probably really good for me. Seriously, with the mood I've been in lately I would have gotten into trouble. I would have enjoyed getting into trouble, but it still would have been trouble....

NN had a lot of good things to say yesterday. I always enjoy talking to him...

I packed so much last night. I just need to move. 6 more days.....

Okay, so I'm in charge of SP's outfit for her bachelorette party now. I had to buy stuff last night for it. I'm pretty sure the cashier at walmart thinks I'm nuts. Tulle, wire, floral ribbon, princess dress up set, fake flowers, and of course condoms. She gave me the weirdest look. I tried explaining that is was for a party, but she didn't believe me.

I bought a bed yesterday. Go me. And really expensive sheets. They're blue. I have a texture fetish.

More good news. TG is moving from a house to a condo and is selling me some furniture. A couch and loveseat that are futons and a matching coffee table. I can have sleepovers. or orgies. (delete that comment)

I'm going to have 3 pools.

I need to get paid again....There never seems to be enough money....

I'm listening to Rascal Flatts today. They make me happy. It reminds me to cherish the good things in my life....

I feel like a trophy today. I've been held up all morning in front of incoming students. "And this is one of our students, Sara." I stand, smile, shake hands, and answer repetative questions that no one hears the answers to. Then I sit down and wonder why I do it. Why do I dress like I'm a Carmel housewife that only works because she can? Because I get paid to. I have a job so that my boss can hold me up in front of Alumni and members of committies and say, "Here is one of our students. Isn't she great? Isn't she perfect?" I play the part. I almost feel as if I'm loosing my identity to who they all expect me to be. Who am I anyway? Does it even matter? Would it even matter if they new that every day I go home, put on a miniskirt, and do all of things that they pray their kids will never be exposed to? Maybe I do live a double life. It's hard. I can't be me at work and by the time I get home I just want to explode from the suffication. I guess it's good training for my career someday. Everything is appearances. That's why I have a job.