Cleansing Days
First and foremost....SMJ and GFC are going to kill me. Their song is Brightest (Copeland) and I could have sworn that my Beneath Medicine Tree CD was one of the ones that wasn't stolen by Kimberly. Well.....aparently I was mistaken. Because I can't find it for the life of me. I'm so sorry guys. I think I'm just going to buy them a copy.........whatever, I'll figure it out.
I feel free today. I posted the whole CPP thing....all of it. Even things that I haven't told anyone....yesterday. And I've hidden it today, but that's not the point. Just knowing that it's all out there makes me feel so much better. I'm not hiding any of it anymore. There were so many things that I could never verbalize or even consider putting words to, but I have. It's all part of the healing process I guess.....
Things didn't work out with SP last night. We both just ended up being too busy to hang out. We've rescheduled for tonight.
So I went walking with CPP yesterday just like we used to last summer. Scarey. I see everything that I used to "like" about him. But I also see the things that I didn't want to see before. He doesn't have any goals, he doesn't believe in himself. It was really hard for both of us to see each other, let alone talk, but we did. We both realize that mentally we need to be friends because it makes everything right, but emotionally I don't think we can be. I don't really want to be. I'm healing, slowly but surely....
....Seeing him also makes me realize how important it is that I kick the habit. It's easier with KO gone. 39 days. The interesting part is that no one suspected anything. Or at least they didn't verbalize any concerns. I can do this. The first 7 days are always the worst. I'm through that. I can do this.
SMJ and GFC these are for you!
If you find yourself here
On my side of town
I pray that you'd come to my door
And talk to me
Like you don't know
What we ever fought about
I don't remember anymore
I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she said that I was the brightest
Little firefly in her jar
And I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she says that I am the brightest
Little firefly in her jar
I feel free today. I posted the whole CPP thing....all of it. Even things that I haven't told anyone....yesterday. And I've hidden it today, but that's not the point. Just knowing that it's all out there makes me feel so much better. I'm not hiding any of it anymore. There were so many things that I could never verbalize or even consider putting words to, but I have. It's all part of the healing process I guess.....
Things didn't work out with SP last night. We both just ended up being too busy to hang out. We've rescheduled for tonight.
So I went walking with CPP yesterday just like we used to last summer. Scarey. I see everything that I used to "like" about him. But I also see the things that I didn't want to see before. He doesn't have any goals, he doesn't believe in himself. It was really hard for both of us to see each other, let alone talk, but we did. We both realize that mentally we need to be friends because it makes everything right, but emotionally I don't think we can be. I don't really want to be. I'm healing, slowly but surely....
....Seeing him also makes me realize how important it is that I kick the habit. It's easier with KO gone. 39 days. The interesting part is that no one suspected anything. Or at least they didn't verbalize any concerns. I can do this. The first 7 days are always the worst. I'm through that. I can do this.
SMJ and GFC these are for you!
If you find yourself here
On my side of town
I pray that you'd come to my door
And talk to me
Like you don't know
What we ever fought about
I don't remember anymore
I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she said that I was the brightest
Little firefly in her jar
And I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she says that I am the brightest
Little firefly in her jar
posted by Sara Beth @ 9:36:00 AM
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