Relationships: The Tough Ones

Somedays I feel like a chain of bad relationships. I look back ans see the decisions that I've made in the last 5 years and mainly wonder what I was thinking. I wish that I could blame it all on Aaron because that's where it all started, but maybe I'm just genetically messed up.

Honestly, what kind of 15 year-old dates someone 10 years their senior? Maybe one that wants to piss off their parents or just doesn't care......I don't know. I went to his daughters' 3rd birthday party. It was fun, I guess. Messed up, to say the least.

I look at the tone of that relationship and see it in every one since then. It was the same cycle with Stephen, Josh..........Graham, Mike.........Cale, Alex. It's the same thing every time and I'm sick of it. I need counciling.

I'm too worped for counciling.............

Maybe I should be a nun.........

I hate boys............

I need Kate right now. She so knows what I'm going through. I wish she hadn't moved to NC last week.

I think I'm going to run myself to death tonight. Maybe six miles? I did three last night. Six might not be enough to kill me........I'll just run until I die, that'll work. Goodbye all. Enjoy the kegs at my wake!

I'm morbid.................

I got another job today. It'll be cool. A couple nights a week working events. And I get to go to bartending school! I don't event hink I like drinking. I think I just like making drinks. I should invest in bartending school. That would be fun.

Works over ...... I'm still sitting here ....... I should leave .......... hmmmm ........ wahtever ........ sooner or later .......... lol ......... this is some mood I'm in ........... I'm going to go lock myself in a padded room ..... thanks for playing! :)