We fight the fights that need fighting.......
Someone take my bad luck. Please?
SMJ called yesterday and informed me that her wedding would be ruined unless we all had our nails done. She and the rest of the bridal are going this morning in Bloomington. So I should have mine done before I head done there tonight. FUCK YOU. I don't even want to be in your wedding. I quit.......
So, I had my nails done last night. When I came out of the store, amid ashes falling from the sky, there was a cop standing beside my Blueberry Bombshell. He asked if it was my car. Yes. Can he see my lisence? Yes. Was I aware that I am underage and there was a bottle of alcohol on my passenger seat? No, it's a bottle of carmel flavoring from Starbucks, but you're more than welcome to look at it. He took my keys and opened the door himself. Looked at the bottle and shockingly said, "Well, that's a first." And I drove home.
I didn't set my alarm last night. Rolled over at 7 and wondered why my alarm hadn't gone off. I also shocked myself into actually getting out of bed within 60 minutes of waking up (that never happens. it takes at least 73 minutes to decide that I can face the day).... But I made it to work by 7:20. Thank God. It didn't matter, no one was here, but still.........
My car was towed last night. A nice police officer gave me a ride to work. Apparently, even after hours I am not allowed to park in a Campus Housing lot with a North Street Garage pass. I LIVE IN CAMPUS HOUSING. I've explained this. The weird part is it was towed by campus police and not parking services, but whatever. I've talked my way into getting my car back, for free. Really, they had no right to tow it and Joy loves me. She's the secretary at the Police Department.
Adam, darling, you don't want my bad luck......
On the upside, I'm talking to a guy from Austin, TX. He's fun. Goes to Texas Tech. Same last name as me. We both collect Riddles. (lol) We might hang out next time I'm in Houston. Not really sure how I feel about that. Will think about it more later....
JRM pisses me off. He's been a great friend for two years. I love him. (not like that) But he doesn't own me. He thinks he does, but he doesn't. He says that he's protecting me. FROM WHAT? Him? Because in the last two years he should have learned that generally I can handle drunk guys. (It really depends on how drunk I am.) But because I don't drink anymore this really shouldn't be a problem, now should it?
I guess I think that if I can handle RL then I can handle anyone. I dragged someone that out weighs me by 150lbs up three flights of stairs and convienced him (by force) that he was not sleeping with me. And RL is an angry drunk. I handled the combination of JRM, D, C, and S when they were trashed. Even half passed out on the floor of a living room I handled D. Don't tell me that I need you to take care of me!
Honestly I think he's pissed about me being friends with AB. Their Frat brothers, but they aren't exactly friends. I don't know the details. Everything was fine until recently. Why are guys stupid sometimes? (sorry.)
This brings up another point. Why can't guys and girls be friends? I love hanging out with guys. I feel safe. There isn't any of the BS that there is when hanging out with girls. It's simple. But guys don't like being "just a friend". What's the big deal? I value my friends 10 times more than any "guy" in my life. (Maybe that's a problem.) But truthfully, I can't take any relationship seriously right now, nor do I want one. I can go out and have fun and enjoy myself, but there isn't anything there. Why do I always end up having to fight out this same arguement? Everyone is just a friend right now, because I don't want/can't handle anything more. And maybe I'm going to turn around tomorrow and find the guy of my dreams and things will change. I don't know. But it's so frusterating.
I always feel so defeated after having this argument. Does it even matter how I feel or what I want? What I need? I guess these are the reasons why I've been pushing away lately. I've been fighting the same argument with everyone. The same questions echoing in my mind. Why are we just friends? How did this happen? How can I fix this?
So I fight the same fight and argue the same reasons. But the friendship is never the same and I always feel like I've lost something. I hate feeling like this.
It's lunch time, not really, but I'm hungry. Popcorn. I want popcorn. Okay, time for me to sign off. Everyone have a great weekend. I'll be handling Bridezilla SMJ, soon to be SMC....ha. See y'all lata.........
SMJ called yesterday and informed me that her wedding would be ruined unless we all had our nails done. She and the rest of the bridal are going this morning in Bloomington. So I should have mine done before I head done there tonight. FUCK YOU. I don't even want to be in your wedding. I quit.......
So, I had my nails done last night. When I came out of the store, amid ashes falling from the sky, there was a cop standing beside my Blueberry Bombshell. He asked if it was my car. Yes. Can he see my lisence? Yes. Was I aware that I am underage and there was a bottle of alcohol on my passenger seat? No, it's a bottle of carmel flavoring from Starbucks, but you're more than welcome to look at it. He took my keys and opened the door himself. Looked at the bottle and shockingly said, "Well, that's a first." And I drove home.
I didn't set my alarm last night. Rolled over at 7 and wondered why my alarm hadn't gone off. I also shocked myself into actually getting out of bed within 60 minutes of waking up (that never happens. it takes at least 73 minutes to decide that I can face the day).... But I made it to work by 7:20. Thank God. It didn't matter, no one was here, but still.........
My car was towed last night. A nice police officer gave me a ride to work. Apparently, even after hours I am not allowed to park in a Campus Housing lot with a North Street Garage pass. I LIVE IN CAMPUS HOUSING. I've explained this. The weird part is it was towed by campus police and not parking services, but whatever. I've talked my way into getting my car back, for free. Really, they had no right to tow it and Joy loves me. She's the secretary at the Police Department.
Adam, darling, you don't want my bad luck......
On the upside, I'm talking to a guy from Austin, TX. He's fun. Goes to Texas Tech. Same last name as me. We both collect Riddles. (lol) We might hang out next time I'm in Houston. Not really sure how I feel about that. Will think about it more later....
JRM pisses me off. He's been a great friend for two years. I love him. (not like that) But he doesn't own me. He thinks he does, but he doesn't. He says that he's protecting me. FROM WHAT? Him? Because in the last two years he should have learned that generally I can handle drunk guys. (It really depends on how drunk I am.) But because I don't drink anymore this really shouldn't be a problem, now should it?
I guess I think that if I can handle RL then I can handle anyone. I dragged someone that out weighs me by 150lbs up three flights of stairs and convienced him (by force) that he was not sleeping with me. And RL is an angry drunk. I handled the combination of JRM, D, C, and S when they were trashed. Even half passed out on the floor of a living room I handled D. Don't tell me that I need you to take care of me!
Honestly I think he's pissed about me being friends with AB. Their Frat brothers, but they aren't exactly friends. I don't know the details. Everything was fine until recently. Why are guys stupid sometimes? (sorry.)
This brings up another point. Why can't guys and girls be friends? I love hanging out with guys. I feel safe. There isn't any of the BS that there is when hanging out with girls. It's simple. But guys don't like being "just a friend". What's the big deal? I value my friends 10 times more than any "guy" in my life. (Maybe that's a problem.) But truthfully, I can't take any relationship seriously right now, nor do I want one. I can go out and have fun and enjoy myself, but there isn't anything there. Why do I always end up having to fight out this same arguement? Everyone is just a friend right now, because I don't want/can't handle anything more. And maybe I'm going to turn around tomorrow and find the guy of my dreams and things will change. I don't know. But it's so frusterating.
I always feel so defeated after having this argument. Does it even matter how I feel or what I want? What I need? I guess these are the reasons why I've been pushing away lately. I've been fighting the same argument with everyone. The same questions echoing in my mind. Why are we just friends? How did this happen? How can I fix this?
So I fight the same fight and argue the same reasons. But the friendship is never the same and I always feel like I've lost something. I hate feeling like this.
It's lunch time, not really, but I'm hungry. Popcorn. I want popcorn. Okay, time for me to sign off. Everyone have a great weekend. I'll be handling Bridezilla SMJ, soon to be SMC....ha. See y'all lata.........
posted by Sara Beth @ 10:58:00 AM
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