And we did it all by hand.......ouch........
My music line up for today is really....nice. Copeland, Jimmy Eat World, Spitalfield, Mae, Straylight Run, Onelinedrawing, Juliana Theory, Lovedrug. (Props to GFC for hooking me up this weekend!) It's definitely going to be a good day.
I spent the weekend with SMJ and GFC in Bloomington. They're great, they really are. I think they've both grown up since the became engaged. I'm really glad that they have. Don't get me wrong, they still have their "problems" but I'm glad that they've learned to adapt to each others' living styles. We'll see how things turn out after the wedding...
Friday night was really disturbing for me. SMJ and I were laying on the floor discussing our past "relationships". I guess I'm just not seeing things with rose tinted glasses anymore. We reached the conclusion that AL was the worst thing to have ever happened to me.
YOu know how all of your relationships pattern, to an extent, off of your first relationship.....well it kinda sucks like that. How could I have been THAT stupid? I guess I just see him for the pedophile that he was. Why didn't I see it at the time. From the six months that I spent under his...influence?...I see why I've continually ruined relationships for the last five years. I wonder if I could ever change....
On to happier thoughts.........
I almost bought a guitar and a puppy this weekend. The puppy was, by far, more expensive. Why is that? But she was sooooooo cute.... and she had breeding rights. Not that I would breed her, but still....American Eskimo puppies....Awwwwww....
SJM and I made a slip cover, by hand, for her and GFCs couch....It's gorgeous...Cream and Blue....It makes the apartment more....homey? cozy?...something like that....
JRW called me on my way back from B-town. When the opening lines of a conversation are "OMG, Guess what...I'm engaged!.......Tell me about the guys in your life..." I freak out. BS and I are the only two of my group of 7 from high school that aren't engaged/married. CNM/JM got married last summer. SMJ/GFC are getting married on the 30th. SP/what's his name are getting married Aug. 20. JP/JO got engaged in April. JW/MP just got engaged. And they all follow up the news with "....so when are you getting engaged?" Never? I'm too young. They don't understand it. 26. I'll start considering the possibility when I'm 26. If I can't take care of myself and be alright alone, I'm never going to be alright with someone....I guess that's just how I view things....am I wrong?
*************************************************************************************
I really hate not using peoples true names. This initial thing is horrible and confusing. No one ever really knows who you're talking about. But I guess I'm even worse. I have ABC and XYZ. Maybe I should just start using names again....I dunno.
*************************************************************************************
Fuck it. PJJ, my boss, was supposed to be in PA for three days. She was afraid to get on the airplane and decided to stay. Okay. Well I'm not going to get anything done before I leave for Texas. This sucks. Now I wish I had bought a Zao CD this weekend. I could use someone screaming at me to block out the sound of her voice...
Later gater,
I spent the weekend with SMJ and GFC in Bloomington. They're great, they really are. I think they've both grown up since the became engaged. I'm really glad that they have. Don't get me wrong, they still have their "problems" but I'm glad that they've learned to adapt to each others' living styles. We'll see how things turn out after the wedding...
Friday night was really disturbing for me. SMJ and I were laying on the floor discussing our past "relationships". I guess I'm just not seeing things with rose tinted glasses anymore. We reached the conclusion that AL was the worst thing to have ever happened to me.
YOu know how all of your relationships pattern, to an extent, off of your first relationship.....well it kinda sucks like that. How could I have been THAT stupid? I guess I just see him for the pedophile that he was. Why didn't I see it at the time. From the six months that I spent under his...influence?...I see why I've continually ruined relationships for the last five years. I wonder if I could ever change....
On to happier thoughts.........
I almost bought a guitar and a puppy this weekend. The puppy was, by far, more expensive. Why is that? But she was sooooooo cute.... and she had breeding rights. Not that I would breed her, but still....American Eskimo puppies....Awwwwww....
SJM and I made a slip cover, by hand, for her and GFCs couch....It's gorgeous...Cream and Blue....It makes the apartment more....homey? cozy?...something like that....
JRW called me on my way back from B-town. When the opening lines of a conversation are "OMG, Guess what...I'm engaged!.......Tell me about the guys in your life..." I freak out. BS and I are the only two of my group of 7 from high school that aren't engaged/married. CNM/JM got married last summer. SMJ/GFC are getting married on the 30th. SP/what's his name are getting married Aug. 20. JP/JO got engaged in April. JW/MP just got engaged. And they all follow up the news with "....so when are you getting engaged?" Never? I'm too young. They don't understand it. 26. I'll start considering the possibility when I'm 26. If I can't take care of myself and be alright alone, I'm never going to be alright with someone....I guess that's just how I view things....am I wrong?
*************************************************************************************
I really hate not using peoples true names. This initial thing is horrible and confusing. No one ever really knows who you're talking about. But I guess I'm even worse. I have ABC and XYZ. Maybe I should just start using names again....I dunno.
*************************************************************************************
Fuck it. PJJ, my boss, was supposed to be in PA for three days. She was afraid to get on the airplane and decided to stay. Okay. Well I'm not going to get anything done before I leave for Texas. This sucks. Now I wish I had bought a Zao CD this weekend. I could use someone screaming at me to block out the sound of her voice...
Later gater,
posted by Sara Beth @ 9:21:00 AM
2 Comments:
At Tue Jul 12, 09:14:00 AM,
SuperP. said…
I don't like using real names, either, but I did for the first time this week and I still don't like it.
Relationships are a pattern, definitely.. it's all that classical conditioning that happens when you are young and malleable. And, there are other factors.. how well you relate to your father and mother types of things.. women tend to emulate their mothers and seek men like their fathers, in one way or another.
So many of my friends (myself included in the past) have said, 'why are men always such assholes'? I respond with, "You're picking them." Which means that if you tend to fall into a certain pattern, it's important to look at you before the other person. That person may be bad for you, probably is if you are having such complaints, so don't absolve them, just get rid of them and then try to figure out what it is inside you that wants to be treated badly.
There are so many types of complexes, out there.. the savior complex, mothering complex, the histrionics, the narcissists..
The fact that you are so aware and that you have chosen to live alone is astoundingly intelligent and will only do you well. However, take this time on your own to really discover yourself and know what you will put up with in friendships and dating and career and school and life and what you won't. You are laying the ground work.
At Fri Jul 15, 08:58:00 AM,
Konrad said…
A puppy can go, but the guitar will stay. Believe me as a passionate guitar player.
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