The Redundant Ramblings of an Insane Mind

Okay, so I'm nuts. I think that everyone should know that up front. But I enjoy my insanity. I feel sorry for people that suffer from theirs. I'm an Irish Catholic Redhead. Picture that! hehehe. Anything else you want to know just ask!

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Hump Day followed by Thirsty Thursday

Where do I start? Hump Day kinda sucked. Too much homework, not nearly enough time. I felt like I couldn't get it together all day. What's new?

I've been thinking a lot about the new apartment. I can't wait until July. The Gardens are gorgous. I guess there are starting to be some problems between Ang and her mom. They revolve around money and things that she hasn't felt ready to talk about yet.I wish that she would let me help her, but I understand the need to work though things yourself first.

The redeeming quality of Monday happened to be my intermural volleyball game/open gym. It was great! Kimmy, Brandon, some new chick, Corey and I kicked ass. I really think that if I didn't spend so much time on Wednesday taking care of myself then I'd fall straight into some sort of depression. It all starts with running right after work. 3 miles a day. But Wednesday are great because then I go directly to yoga for an hour where I relax and work the stress out of my muscles. Then it's VOLLEYBALL time. Ahhhhhh. And I get home just in time to watch Alias, do homework and go to bed.

Thursday wasn't really good either. Lost of homework. Shitty classes. etc. But they call it Thirsty Thursday for a reason. I got the hook up from Clint. Eric, Jake, and I started drinking at 8. Whiskey Sours, Pina Coladas, Mia Tias, Screwdrivers with a Twist, Shots of vodka and rum. hehehe. I was SOOOOO wasted! And then we went outside and smoked cigars. Yummmmmmmyyyyyy! Malorie, Angie, and Nick joined us at some point. I was bartender for the night, one of my favorite rolls. And I play it well!!! HEHE! Gottal love it!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Spring....and the Bitch Clan

IT's SPRING!!! My favorite time of the year. Let's break out the little shirts, heels, and minis. Which brings me to the topic of the day: How hard it is to be a girl.

The Experiment

My friend Angie and I have been doing a lot of thinking about our past lately. We were both in the "Bitch Clan" in High School, but we weren't the typical memebers. Ang was the girl that was really good friends with all the guys and I was the one that was "friends" with the other members of the Clan, but I also had a lot of friends outside of the group. I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone taht hasn't been in a Bitch Clan, but oh well....

We both came to college, fed up with the person that we had become and thus attempted to reinvent ourselves into the people that we should be. (It should be noted at this point that I am a sophomore and she is a freshman. These decision have been decided independently and actually before we even knew each other, but it's funny how that works out, isnt' it?)

Okay, so we both "reinvented" ourselves and that we cool. However, we're finding that we miss certain things about being THAT person......
Heels, you'd be surprised what they do for your posture and the way that you walk.
Halters and tank tops, they do a lot for your confidence level.
THe mentality, the "I'm the Queen of the Universe Thing".

Okay, I know it sounds bad but there are reasons behind all of this. The thing about the Clan is that you portrayed the image of confidence and being superior and you were proud of the way that you looked. THe person taht I've become is more of a jeans and sweatshirt, ponytail, no makeup, sneakers kinda girl. It's not to say that I don't take care of myself or that I don't like the way that I look or that I'm not confident, it's just that on the really shity days when you need that extra boost, I don't have it.

So, I guess that while I've decided to take on different atributes of the Clan, I'm still not going to become the person that I was in High School. The thing is that while I didn't think that this was going to alter my world, it has. My boss, whom is the spawn of Satan, actually takes me seriously. I do a lot of work with outside print companies because our "inhouse" sucks ass and I've always had a problem with people not taking me seriously after they find out that I'm and intern and a student at that. But lately they've all beenn really professional. I get hit on ALL THE FUCKING TIME, which you have to admit does a lot for your self esteem (knowing that other people think you look good).

HOLY SHIT....I think that I've just realized how shallow I sound. That's scary. Okay, clarifying. The whole self esteem thing. YOu should understand that my entire faith in myself is not based on the opinions of others. They reafirm what I already feel. I'm not sure why I feel the need to explain myself. I don't even know anyone that is reading this. Hell, they're my thoughts and I'm the only person that will truly understand them anyway.

Time to go. I'm bored tonight. I think I'm going to grab Ang and we'll go visit people. OOOOOO, I wonder what Adam is up to?

OHHHH!!! I almost forgot the insight of the day:

Why Ang and I get along, an analogy by Sara:

You see, I've spent most of my life out in left field. You know, away from other people, still in the game, making a few good plays, but really minding my own business. But you see know you're out here in left field with me. We can play catch!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

My First Official BLOG.....

Okay, so I would LOVE to say something brilliant and inspiring in here. However, I don't think that, that is going to happen. It has been a wonderfully busy, eventful, hectic week. And it's only Tuesday! Actually it has been the week from Hell, but I'm not letting that effect my current optimism.

I'm not a man who's ever been
insecure about the
world I'm living in

....but if you need to be satisfied
I'm shameless......

Ahhhh...I love Billy Joel. Old fashioned I know, but still.

Hehehe... I was innitially inspired to start a Blog by Nick. My LJ, yes I said LJ, has become tedious, mundane, and full of "drama". Ahhh. I am hoping that this doesn't turn out that way. Or maybe it could just be different drama. I don't think I would mind that as much either. It's the redundant drama that I hate.

Picture this with me if you will......a singular person having the same problem every week of their life. They claim that they are helpless in this matter and can do NOTHING about it. However, you know for a fact that the problem is caused because they spend their life reacted to the actions of others and not thinking about those reactions or what caused them in the first place.

Do you see why I've adapted an uncaring attitude towards...well pretty much everything in general? I dunno.......but who really cares? hehehe..ahhhh........whatever.

I've recently made a lot of changes in my life. I think that they've been for the best. I'm coming to terms with them anyway.....we'll see.

And now for the insight of the day.........

Topic: recognizing and exressing your emotions

"You see, it's kind of like my toe. I feel something in my big toe right now.
It could itch or it could be on fire. Until you analyze what you're
feeling, you can't react to it. Many people go their entire lives without
realizing that their toe is on fire."

Okay so what do you think? I would prefer to think that I'm the type of person that would realize that my toe is on fire. Put it out and then keep going. However, I realistically realize that I am more of a realize I'm on fire, freak out, burry what it makes me feel and in a month attempt to decide what to do about. The only problem with this is that by the time I decide to deal with the fact that I'm on fire I have no toe left. In fact it has spread to the rest of my body and I'm screwed. Wow, how is that for self analyzing?

I'm going to attempt to have a valuable insite every blog, however I'm not sure if this will happen. Having an insight on command is tough!