IT's SPRING!!! My favorite time of the year. Let's break out the little shirts, heels, and minis. Which brings me to the topic of the day: How hard it is to be a girl.
My friend Angie and I have been doing a lot of thinking about our past lately. We were both in the "Bitch Clan" in High School, but we weren't the typical memebers. Ang was the girl that was really good friends with all the guys and I was the one that was "friends" with the other members of the Clan, but I also had a lot of friends outside of the group. I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone taht hasn't been in a Bitch Clan, but oh well....
We both came to college, fed up with the person that we had become and thus attempted to reinvent ourselves into the people that we should be. (It should be noted at this point that I am a sophomore and she is a freshman. These decision have been decided independently and actually before we even knew each other, but it's funny how that works out, isnt' it?)
Okay, so we both "reinvented" ourselves and that we cool. However, we're finding that we miss certain things about being THAT person......
Heels, you'd be surprised what they do for your posture and the way that you walk.
Halters and tank tops, they do a lot for your confidence level.
THe mentality, the "I'm the Queen of the Universe Thing".
Okay, I know it sounds bad but there are reasons behind all of this. The thing about the Clan is that you portrayed the image of confidence and being superior and you were proud of the way that you looked. THe person taht I've become is more of a jeans and sweatshirt, ponytail, no makeup, sneakers kinda girl. It's not to say that I don't take care of myself or that I don't like the way that I look or that I'm not confident, it's just that on the really shity days when you need that extra boost, I don't have it.
So, I guess that while I've decided to take on different atributes of the Clan, I'm still not going to become the person that I was in High School. The thing is that while I didn't think that this was going to alter my world, it has. My boss, whom is the spawn of Satan, actually takes me seriously. I do a lot of work with outside print companies because our "inhouse" sucks ass and I've always had a problem with people not taking me seriously after they find out that I'm and intern and a student at that. But lately they've all beenn really professional. I get hit on ALL THE FUCKING TIME, which you have to admit does a lot for your self esteem (knowing that other people think you look good).
HOLY SHIT....I think that I've just realized how shallow I sound. That's scary. Okay, clarifying. The whole self esteem thing. YOu should understand that my entire faith in myself is not based on the opinions of others. They reafirm what I already feel. I'm not sure why I feel the need to explain myself. I don't even know anyone that is reading this. Hell, they're my thoughts and I'm the only person that will truly understand them anyway.
Time to go. I'm bored tonight. I think I'm going to grab Ang and we'll go visit people. OOOOOO, I wonder what Adam is up to?
OHHHH!!! I almost forgot the insight of the day:
Why Ang and I get along, an analogy by Sara:
You see, I've spent most of my life out in left field. You know, away from other people, still in the game, making a few good plays, but really minding my own business. But you see know you're out here in left field with me. We can play catch!