giggle giggle.

It's been a great weekend.

Thrusday was IUPUI's night out at Jillian's. No my bartendar, J, wasn't working. Doesn't mean I didn't drink. The chick made them wrong, and I wanted to complain, but it's all alcohol, right. NPN, AMS, and I left Jillians for Buca's but they were closed. I "accidentally" walked out of Jillian's with my cup. Oppppssss..... AMS was taking my pic with the money statue and it shattered. This will be me new facebook.com pic. Soon. Note to AMS, please send me pic! lol.

Friday I worked in the morning. I was really apathetic. I didn't want to be around people, but being alone was driving me crazy. I went to Best Buy and walked around, which always makes me happy. NPN, AMS, and I did and all you can eat Chinese Buffet for dinner. arrggghhhh....but still amazing.

Saturday was strange. I didn't put my contacts in, didn't get dressed, didn't shower, did homework, cleaned. Went to bed. And yet, somehow, I don't feel like I accomplished anything.

Sunday, same old, same old. Homework. Baked a cake. Cleaned the kitchen. DID NOT TAKE OUT THE TRASH. I'm so proud, but we'll get to that. Swing Cats meeting.

My current goal in life is to piss of the TD. I've also decided that I'm not going to take care of her anymore. All of my trash goes into the trashcan in my bedroom, which I take out every couple of days. I do my dishes. I clean my room and the living room/kitchen when I've made a mess. But anything else, she can deal with. This explains why my apt. smells like a trash heap and there are dirty dishes all over the kitchen. She made banana bread. I'm pretty sure it's because she knows the smell makes me sick.

I might have to break down though, because the 'Cats are coming over on Sunday. And they're ALL (23 ppl.) staying over on Sunday, November 6, 2005. HEHEHE. She can slam all of the doors she likes, it ain't changing. If she weren't such a stuck up hypocrit bitch, i might feel bad for treating her the way she's treating me. lol. I actually look forward to this.....

An amazing couple of weeks....

I'm just going to hit the highlights. Sorry.

Ummm....Rich Hartesy (sp?) concert at Lamda Chi. It was amazing. I was against the stage, just to the left of Rich most of the night. Some jackass (scott?) was abusivly dancing/assulting us. I ended up dancing with Jared (our knight in shining armor) most of the night. Sweet. Good kisser. It was hard to really enjoy myself with Sean and Ryne right behind me all night, but I still loved it.

The next night I went dancing at Simply Ballroom in Fishers with the 'cats. We performed which was intimidating, to say the least. Made new friends in the world of ballroom. It's so fulfilling to be dancing again.

Sunday I had Dance Committee. Essentially we are throwing a formal Dinner and Dance for the Ballroom Community. It's Nov. 5. We're trying to raise money for Cash Bash in Ohio. I've always loved intensive weekend workshops. lol. Sign me up.

Last week? Dance marathon call outs. I'm on the morale committee with WH. It's hard because AB is on the board, but I won't really have to see him will I? Teaching west coast. Routine practice. Swimming. Class. Work. Other stuff.

Thursday. Home for my little brother's NECC soccer game. lol. We lost, but still. He proved to be a magnificent brick wall anyway. They kept calling people for charging him. It was great.

Friday. Worked on my car all day. Hung out with all my little brothers. Played WOW and Halo 2. Whatever.

Saturday. Saw my Aunt's new siding/remodeling project. It's almost done. Shopping with Mommy. haircut/trimmed it up. PHIL VASSAR concert. OMG. The most amazing performer I have seen. Plays piano on a level with Billy Joel. Energy level of Garth Brooks. Songs of Kenny Chesney. I was, of course, against the stage just to the left of Phil. I have pictures that are going to be amazing. I caught the base guitarist (Darrin)'s towel at the end and had Jeff (lead guitar), the keyboards/piano player and Darrin sign it. Definitely have Phil's autograph too! I'm still in heaven. If you haven't heard him try the Shakin' Not Stirred CD. It was written and recorded with his band. Amazing.

Sunday. Church. Colt's Game. Swing Cats meeting at my place.

Monday. Booked Skippy Blair (one of the founders of west coast) to come do a weekend of intensives the same weekend as our dinner and dance. We should make a $7000 profit. Cash Bash here we come. Spring break intensives. I'm going to dance my ass off this year. Oh, first flag football game, too! We kicked ass. The Ball Hall Bombers! Yea, I know. Whatever.

Definitely killed my ankle last night though. It got "twisted" during football and then I danced on it at practice for 2 hours. It would have been fine but we were doing natural tops and the "turtle" turns. I elivated and iced last night and now I'm in soak it in hot epsom salt zone. I don't think swimming on it would be good today, but that isn't going to stop me. I have to swim. It's an obsession. And then I have to dance. And then I have to do homework.

Leave me some love.

I have a new AIM now. Most of you should have it. Leave me a comment if you want it.

AMS. Fall Out Boy. Yes.

Updated from AMS's...............

I'm such a bitch. I'm sitting here being really mean to someone and I like it. OMG. It doesn't end. Oh well. I love AMS. We're a great team. Nuff said.

I'm not sure if I should talk about JC in here or not. He's a sweet guy and I had a blast with him on Saturday, but he'll never be more than a friend.

Yep still being a bitch. Go me. She deserves it.

I wanna call A right now. I don't know her number, nor have I ever met her, but I want her to know that the "man of her dreams" cheated on her the first week of their "month and a half of paradise". Fuck off. If he was so in love, then why is he sleeping around? Or why isn't he telling his friends about you? Just a couple of questions that are on my mind. I'm vindictive, what can I say?

I've been a bitch 6 times in a row.

"so when the cytoplasm of a plant is pressed against the cell wall, Sara, what is this called?" "I have no fucking clue." "me either, but it's gotta be in this book somewhere." lol.

Okay I have swim at 5 in the morning so it's time to go home and go to bed. lol. Have a great weekend.

"Oh, I found it it's turgor pressure."

Stay glassy, or get glassy, or just get plastered.

ehhh..........

I wish that there were more to say. There's not. I love the SwingCats. It demands so much of my time, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm angry. Very angry, but there isn't much I can do about. KH's post rings true for me also. Lot's of love babe. Yes, we have to party soon. Dance Marathon is starting up soon. I'm not sure if I should put myself in a position where I have to see people that I'd rather not see on a regular basis, but it's all for the kids. Right? BTW, I wish you both the best. But I'll cuss you out in ASL every time I see you. I wanna decorate the SC USG desk so bad. It's plain, and it's giving me a headache. Whatever. I have to go do my HW before practice tonight.

FYI, My AIM was suspended, but I'm hoping to get it back sooner or later. If not I'll get a new one! Later, y'all!

And tonight, for you I will cry........

I have a teenage daughter. And I don't like it. She's an irresponsible, messy, dirty, bitchy, sarcastic, lying, sceming, horrible person. And I don't like her very much. Sorry, she got home at 1:30 this morning and was yelling in the hallway with some friends (I don't know who) and then she left. When I left for practice at 5:45, every light was on (I turned them off) and the door was unlocked (which concerns me to say the least). Around 8:15 I get a call, telling me that I'm a bitch, because she's locked out. You know what? If you're going to sleep at EH's, TAKE YOUR KEYS and please LOCK THE DOOR. So that's how my day started.

I'm getting sick. I'm really irritable. I can't seem to get enough sleep. Volleyball was worth it last night. Ten points to Cassy, Garrett, Brandon, KJS, Nat, Kristi and Corey for making it awesome. Boo to all the people that didn't show up.

I have hella practice tonight. I love running the routine, but still two hours is a little much. And I don't know if DJ will be there, so....how can I learn to follow him/make him lead me if he isn't there?

I called AT last night. His away message scared me. Apparently BLS has been cheating on him for 4 monthes, and lying about it. So this M guy is the real reason they broke up. AT found out. There was a guys only girl bashing session that I was a part of. Not quite sure how that works. I'm really loosing respect for her. But more than that I'm loosing respect for my "friends" that influenced it. Bitches. So we're running away together to get married. lol. Whatever....:)

I keep finding quotes that fit my mood. I turn them into away messages. But I think last nights was perfect. "And tonight, for you I will cry. And for what will never be, I will dream. I will wake up tomorrow new and ready to face the day. But for tonight, tonight I will cry." And I didn't cry, mainly because I don't feel that it's worth it. I didn't wake up feeling refreshed and new, but still. It's just the mood. I guess when I fall, it's hard and fast. And there was a loud thud at the bottom.

I updated Other Side for the first time in monthes. I was that pissy yesterday. It was almost the blinding hot rage that I thought I had learned to control. lol. So much for growing up, I guess....

Later....

Georgia Peaches

It's a rough day. I'm trying so hard not to think about Atlanta. But you don't know about that, do you? I spoke with SH on Sunday. She works for the Chamber of Commerce in Atlanta, GA. I've been offered a job as soon as I graduate. I have to go down for a formal interview and check everything out. But it's looking like, GA here I come.

And this terrifies me. Not only because it's GA and 8 hours away from my family, but because it signifies the beginning of the rest of my life. It also means that unless I find someone willing to move to GA with me, there's really no point in even looking. I mean I'll have fun and it's all good, but at the end of the day I know that eventually I'll be leaving.....

I loved dancing this morning. I felt so free. But dancing always does that to me. I need to buy my shoes......Someone remind me about that.

I can't wait to hit the Ripple this weekend with KJS. Bars, Booze, and Boys....lol. It's all fun and games until someone passes out in the street....

Later cats and kittens....(I love KF!)

weird email....wish it weren't the truth...

a. Ever been so drunk you blacked out? Generally
b. Put a body part on fire for amusement? Yeppers
c. Kept a secret from everyone? Most of the time
d. Wanted to hook up with a friend? It's a rule of friendship anymore...
e. Ever thought an animated character was hot? I don't know, have you seen Prince Charming lately?
f. Had a New Kids on the Block tape? Nope
g. Been on stage? Yes, and miss it terrible.
a. Shampoo? Finesse
b. Soap? Tone with Botanicals
c. Colour? Purple and Orange
d. Day/Night? Sunrise and Sunset
e. Summer/Winter? Fall and Spring
f. Fave TV series? Alias/Family Guy
g. Food? Homemade Pizza, Mom's Chocolate Chip Cookies, and PB&Js
h. Fave Advert? No Clue

> -----------RIGHT NOW----------

j. Wearing? Brown Skirt, Pink Shirt, Brown Heels
k. Eating? Staring at RockStar Energy Drink and eating crackers
l. HAIR is? Red and in a ponytail
m. Drinking? I wish, but no
n. Thinking about? Running through the West Coast Routine and things that are better left unsaid.
o. Listening to? The voices in my head.
p. Talking to? The angel and devil that sit on my shoulders
--THE LAST 24 Hrs-----------
q. Cried? Actually yes
r. Meet ANY new FRIENDS? Yea, this girl in my economics class
s.Cleaned your room? Yes, the whole apartment, my roomates a slob.....
---------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
a. Yourself? Somedays...
b. Your friends? Most of the time.
c. Santa Clause? Always and Forever
d. Tooth Fairy? Yep
e. Destiny/Fate? Your destiny is what you make of it.
f. Angels? Always
g. Ghosts? Spirits? Yea
---------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
a. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no
b. Who have u known the longest of your friends? Dustin, but I'll go with Sherie
d. Who's the weirdest Friend? Me...literally.
e. Who do you go to for advice? Kimmer, Mom
f. When do you cry the most? When I snap under pressure.
g. Who will comment to this post first? AMS


nuf said

news from the homefront

hmmm....So I was back in Indy today. lol. Whatever. ACR flew into IND and we picked her up and then headed back north for BS/TM wedding. It was perfect. That's the way the weddings should be done. They leave to move to NYC on Monday and then TM gets shipped out to Iraq in a month. I got to talk to NB's mom and dad. He ships out next week. Nico ships out in two weeks. It's scary that so many of the guys from HS are shipping out. Most of them are in patrolling units, etc. I worry about them.

LOL, I tore apart my car with daddy yesterday. Oh, and I didn't set off the airbag, which would have been bad. We were working on the turn signal switch and I changed my oil and all that crap. I always love working in the shop with him. He's so happy when I actually get something right. I'm getting good at oil changes though. He says that he'll have to start challenging me again. To which I reply, maybe I should still be playing dumb?

We're headed to MJ's in Carmel tomorrow and then dropping ACR at the airport to fly back to Houston. and then it's back north and then I'll be back in Indy on Monday. If this makes sense to anyone let me know. Because personally I don't see why I'm making three trips to Indy in five days. lol. I have to come back up next weekend to have my windsheild replaced. go me. but i love it here so who cares. i was supposed to go out with C, C, and D from Sprint, but maybe we can do it some other time?

I figured out why JRM is mad at me. Lot's of drama there. I can't say that I blame him. It was stupid of me, but WTF? it's not his life... either be my friend or don't, but quit this shit.

oooooo time to tickle dad. lol. I've gotta go. later!

homeward bound

I'm home. For the first time in two monthes. I miss it here so much. I feel like I can breathe. Yea, I've been thrown over a couch and tickled to death, but it's worth it. I grilled steak with dad and then mom and I made CC cookies. She always makes them the best. And we watched Hitch. lol. Love that movie....

I haven't really felt like updating lately. So many things running through my head, and yet nothing concrete. Fears, dreams, hopes, demons, all constantly in thoughts, but never coherent.

Some days I feel like giving up on everything. Like today. I wanted to walk away from Indy and everything there. All of it. The people. The drama. The memories. But I then realized that there will be drama anywhere and I'd miss the people and the memories make me who I am.

I want to talk to you and yet I could never find the words to say what's on my mind

I've started looking throuhg my scrapbooks and photo albums tonight. Hmmm....I can't help but laugh. But it isn't a laugh of fond memories or times remembered, it's the cynical laugh of someone who knows how sheltered they were and regrets that they now see things clearly.

Mom sees that I'm hurting. I wish I could tell her it's nothing. I wish I could still hide it. But that isn't truely what I want. I sat on dad's lap and talked to him forever earlier. I dunno. Watching my parents together is still the most amazing sight. They're perfect and I love them so much. It makes me sad for the firl I used to be. I wish that I still lived in a world where making them proud of me was all that mattered and making even the biggest mistakes was okay because they truely weren't that bad. It's like putting on a show every time I'm here so that hopefully they don't see what really going on. But I know that they know. But I love being here and feeling the unconditional love that have been so constant through everything in my life.

Who knows. I can't write this now. And it looks like I'm signed up to have my lil bro kick my ass at XBox.....lol.

Mood: happy in a peaceful and reflexive kinda way....